Rumination: Lost control

Ever found yourself replaying a conversation, wondering what you could’ve said differently? Or stuck in the ‘what ifs’ of a decision you can’t undo? In this era of endless distractions and pressures, rumination feels like a silent epidemic—one that slowly unravels our mental clarity and peace. And this rumination makes you question whether you are in control of yourself. It is a valid question that you ask yourself as your actions stop aligning with your personality. Nourished by restlessness rumination makes you miserable day by day. It’s just the starting of an endless loop that ends with lost mental peace and clarity. It’s like you started exploring a certain activity and then ended up looping into thoughts of doing more activities that lead to the same adrenaline rush on and on again. To fix rumination we need to understand the underlying cause. But before that let’s understand why rumination is an issue and needs to be attended to.

Cost of lost control

Rumination is often caused by perfectionism or past traumas. These two things cost you a lot on a psychological level rumination just takes things a step forward. You lose touch with reality, and u kind of start to enter into a delusion resulting from constant rumination. Once you start deluding yourself these never-ending thoughts result in anxiety, depression, and lost ability of logical thinking. That’s just the start you become miserable day by day. Lose interest in everything. Relationships are ruined social circles teared down. People will see you mentally drifted. You will be physically present but will be ruminating about something. But why does rumination feel so unshakable? Let’s dig into its roots—perfectionism, and trauma—that silently fuel this cycle.

Perfectionism and Trauma as the backbone of rumination

Many will give you a list of reasons why you might be ruminating. But I believe there are only two causes which are both psychological. Perfectionism is one which makes people chase the impossible ideal goal. It could be anything body, business, some work. And it is the common one. People often experience rumination and chase perfection in everything they do. Their study table needs to have all black pens on the left side and all blue pens on the right. The notepad should be in the middle flower pot on each end. Any mistake in that can frustrate them. Things go bad when they ruminate perfection. what if I use brass plants instead of flower on my study table? What should be the height of the plant? what should be the length of the leaves?

This pattern turns into obsession and is reflected in everything you do. And you will often find yourself lost in fixing something that isn’t even a problem. Something similar happens in the case of rumination by traumas. Traumas often leave a deep scar in the inner tissue of the logical mind. This scar often draws blood when you meet some similar situation that caused trauma. In such a situation your mind is stuck in a loop shall I do this or that? Often this freezes people. You might have seen people with trauma not able to give any reaction just shaking and stuck. Now that we understand what drives rumination, how can we break free? Let’s explore actionable steps to regain control.

Break free: Gain control again

Anything that is to be fixed must be acknowledged first. In order to fix rumination you need to first accept it’s different from thinking things through.

• Awareness
  The very first thing to do is accept that rumination isn’t helping. Often people ruminate to dive deep into a problem to find a solution. In order to break free you need to accept what you are chasing isn’t worth it. For if you are chasing perfection there is no such thing as perfect. And if trying to act in a traumatizing situation just act don’t think. It’s better to take some action than standing there and thinking.
• Touch of Reality
  Whenever you find yourself ruminating bring your focus back to real-world tasks. Pluck a flower, run a bit, talk to someone, hit a tree, jump into a pool. Feel that you are alive and have the ability to do anything you want.
• Action
  If rumination is a result of trying to solve a problem. Endless thinking won’t solve it. Think of a solution and instead of finding a mistake in that solution apply it. Take action before rethinking it.
• Delusion
  Often rumination is the result of a deluded goal a person is chasing. And the only way to break free is to accept the goal is unachievable. If it is an unchangeable future situation you must accept it and have the mindset to face it in the future and stop worrying about it in the present.

Finding Peace

At its heart, rumination is a battle between your emotions and logic. Winning this battle doesn’t mean shutting down your feelings—it means guiding them with compassion and clarity. Life isn’t perfect, and neither are we. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means making room for new thoughts, new solutions, and most importantly, peace.

Closing Thoughts

The mind is a powerful tool, but unchecked, it can turn against you. Rumination might make you feel stuck, but remember, you hold the key to the exit. Start small. Start now. And trust that clarity lies just beyond the chaos.